Update: Shoulder

We know more now

We have updated information on my shoulder and what seems like a surprising combination of confusion and certainty that attends the diagnosis/treatment phase.

To begin, it’s worse than it was. There’s still the original injury (and sorry he-ortho, it was a fucking injury. “Sleeping wrong” seems very unlikely to have caused the six-inch long bruise you were uninterested in.)

There’s also what’s happened since. The heavy physical work I’m now doing daily. The carrying. Major carrying. All unavoidable. The Bear walking. The time the other evening when Bear got into a fight with another dog (it's a purplish gray small pit and they hate each other. The woman with him motioned that she would move the dog away, but didn’t. And then the two went at each other, full strength. I always hold the leash in my left hand - the uninjured one - but when Bear is that spun up and fighting it takes two arms to hold him and pull him back. Like an unleashed lion. Takes both my arms and I use my legs to brace. Seriously. That’s what it’s like when your puppy is actually a dire wolf.)

It feels like there have been a series of traumas to my shoulder, starting - but not ending - with the original July injury.

Yes, July! (nod to the Decemberists, beautiful song.)

It doesn’t feel like there’s one thing wrong with it, which may explain why two different orthos looked at the same info and reached two different conclusions. Blind men and the elephant. Or in moments of frustration I think about them as the Orthopedics Depatrment in Chelm. (If you want to know more about the stories of the wise men of Chelm - stories and books I loved as a kid and never really let go of, here’s a link: :https://encyclopedia.yivo.org/article/2175. My docs are smarter than the wise men of Chelm, but there have definitely been moments that have made me wonder.)

Back to the shoulder update. I’m definitely quitting he-ortho. I’m guessing that that professional services version of ghosting is just to cancel my next appointment. Can’t imagine they’ll come looking for me. And I haven’t figured out how to share with she-ortho that I got another opinion, another injection (didn’t work) and a prescription for the drug that sounds like Herman Melville named it - Mobic. On it for a week. Nothing, nada, gatz. Do I even need to mention it to her?Not sure, thoughts welcome.

When last I mentioned this I referenced a surgery date they scheduled for late January, well after Nick has gotten his mobility back. He should be able to bear weight by around mid-December, so the timing could work.

I asked the question last week: what kind of surgery are we talking about?

And yesterday, via the doc’s very excellent PA, I got an answer.

She would do an arthroscopy, debridement (clean out any tissue, bone spurs, loose bodies etc), repair the cuff if the tear needed to be repaired, do a biceps tenodesis if the long head of the biceps needed to be repaired, shave down any bone that was causing impingement (pinching the tendons causing pain).

Here’s what that sounds like to me: we don’t know what’s wrong, we’re going to take a look and see. If it’s shredded, we’ll trim it. If it’s torn, we’ll repair it. If it’s tight we’ll loosen it.

Which actually may be exactly what I need. I think that there’s more than one thing going on (so did the MRI) and it’s definitely getting worse with different types of pain in different places.

I’m not looking forward to it - who would. But I am looking forward to getting this fixed. What I don’t know - what’s unknowable - is what recovery looks like, since no doubt that’s completely dependent on what they do once they’re in there.

So we have an update, and more than a concept of a plan. I can’t do anything till NIck is mobile (that situation moves slowly but the healing is happening. It’s just a really long bed-bound recovery. I’m trying to keep his mood up - yesterday’s solution was a baked ziti and a return to the bread I stopped making when I hurt my shoulder. I knew it was the bread that would best go with the pasta, and since my shoulder hurts no matter what I do I said fuck it, and made the bread . And it came out perfectly, like I hadn’t lost my touch in the 3 1/2 months since I last made it. That was satisfying.

There we are, beloved readers. We have a direction. I’m going to try and avoid doing the Dr. Google thing - I don’t want to read about what the recovery is like for each of the things she mentioned they might do.

Priority now is to get Nick’s leg healed and make sure his recovery is smooth. Once that happens the shoulder can become the priority. Not now, not at home. Here - with you it’s something I can focus on. But in day-to-day life it doesn’t rise to the level of something where attention must be paid. I’ve been trying to talk about it less, and I can go many hours without mentioning it. Until the pain really sets in, and pain cannot be ignored. Attention must be paid.

So that’s my shoulder update. As always thoughts and reactions welcome.